Restoring Trust In Church

For many, church has not been a place of healing—it’s been a place of harm. And truthfully, that’s not new.

Even in Jesus’ time, the religious establishment had already begun to mirror the power structures of empire. Jesus regularly challenged the hypocrisy and legalism of the religious elite (see Matthew 23), calling out those who burdened the people while protecting their own status. It wasn’t just Rome that crucified Jesus—it was the unholy alliance between empire and religion that led to his execution (John 18:28–19:16). The Temple, meant to be a house of prayer, had become a marketplace of exploitation (Matthew 21:12–13). The most sacred spaces had already started to serve the powerful, not the people.

So skepticism about church is not a failure of faith. It’s part of a long, honest tradition of discerning what is truly holy from what is merely hollow.

And yes—we know that through Christ, we can have a personal relationship with God. So it’s fair to ask:

Why bother with church at all?

It’s a question I hear more and more—and honestly? I get it because I have asked it myself.

I decided to put this post together as both an invitation and an affirmation—because many people’s doubts and disappointments with church are real. And no one wants to waste their precious time trying to find a place to connect with God, especially when we know we can have a personal relationship with God.

But today, I got a phone call—one of many I receive—from someone asking for help. Sometimes these calls are layered with pain and addiction. Sometimes with stories that are hard to trust. But today, something about it felt real. And even if it wasn’t—I still felt it.

Because what breaks my heart most is knowing what a difference it makes when someone has a good church family to walk with them—not just to hand them a blessing and send them on their way, but to sit beside them in the middle of the mess and help them find their way through it. When I get calls from people who are calling all the churches in the area for help, I think to myself, "If only you were already part of the family then you wouldn't have to do this. You would have people to lean on already."

Church isn’t about having it all together.

It’s about not falling apart alone.

🛑 Why Do People Avoid Church?

Here are 5 evidence-based reasons many people stay away:

1. Hypocrisy and Judgment – When churches preach love but practice shame, trust is broken.

2. Religious Trauma or Abuse – For some, leaving church was an act of survival and healing.

3. Irrelevance – Faith that doesn’t touch real life stops feeling meaningful.

4. Politics in the Pulpit – The fusion of faith and partisanship has turned people off.

5. Busy, Burned-Out Lives – People are overwhelmed. Church can’t feel like another obligation.

   
   

   What reason would you add to this list?

   
   

💡 Why Church Still Matters (When It’s Healthy)

When you find a church that’s real and rooted in love, it can become a sanctuary—especially in crisis. Here’s what it offers:

1. Belonging – A place where you are known, valued, and not alone.

2. Spiritual Rhythm – Time set aside each week to breathe, reflect, and reconnect with God.

3. Support in Crisis – Whether you’re facing addiction, grief, poverty, or uncertainty, a good church can offer prayer, emotional support, and sometimes even financial relief or connections to help.

4. Broader Community – You meet people outside your usual circle—people with different wisdom, life experiences, and resources that can help you navigate what you're going through.

5. Shared Purpose – You become part of something bigger than yourself—healing, serving, and growing together.

   
   

Hebrews 10:25 reminds us: “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encourage one another…”Because faith grows deeper when it’s lived in communion—not just in solitude.

🔍 How Can You Tell If a Church Is Healthy?

It’s not always easy—especially when you're visiting for the first time. Some churches have impressive programs, high-energy bands, or even coffee shops in the lobby. That kind of aesthetic isn’t inherently bad—but it’s worth asking: Is the faith being deeply lived, or just attractively branded?

Other churches hang rainbow flags or proclaim, “All are welcome.” That’s a beautiful statement—but inclusion on the sign doesn’t always translate to peace in the pews. Sometimes, under the surface, there are power struggles, unspoken judgments, or spiritual gatekeeping that make the space feel less safe than it looks.

It’s hard to know where it’s safe to drop your spiritual anchor.

Here are three signs that can help you discern:

👉 Authenticity over performance. Do the people seem real—not just polished or performative? Are doubt, struggle, and vulnerability allowed in the room? Do you feel like you could show up on a hard day and still be met with grace?

👉 Radical welcome, not just surface-level slogans. Are different kinds of people truly participating—not just attending? Can people of varying backgrounds, identities, or life stories share in leadership, conversation, and belonging? Is there room for your real story?

👉 A living mission, not museum maintenance. Is the church growing toward something meaningful—serving others, adapting to the needs of the world, practicing justice and mercy? Or are they simply preserving traditions for the sake of comfort and control?

Finding a good church isn’t about finding a perfect one. It’s about finding a space where faith is embodied, grace is practiced, and love shows up in real, tangible ways.

🎉 You’re Invited.

If you’re curious, we’d love to welcome you to The Reformed Church, located at 106 North Chestnut Street, Scottdale.

We’re not flashy. We’re not perfect. But we are real.✨ We blend tradition and creativity.✨ We make space for rest, growth, justice, and joy.✨ We don’t believe in one-size-fits-all faith.✨ And we want you to feel safe enough to be yourself—whether you’re questioning, healing, hoping, or rebuilding. We are not cookie cutter--our people are from different walks of life and have different interpretations of scripture and faith but we gather in the peace and love of God despite our differences. For me as a pastor, it has been a healing group of people to minister alongside and that gives me a lot of hope for the future we are trying to build together.

And if we’re not quite the right fit? That’s okay. I (Rev. TJ) am the president of the Scottdale Area Association of Churches and would be happy to help you find a congregation that fits your spirit better.

Because you deserve community. You deserve hope. And you don’t have to figure it out alone. 💛